The Floral Hustle

  📍 Hello, flower friend. This is Jen and you are listening to the floral hustle podcast on this week's mini sowed, we are going to talk all, all about, am I good enough? Not feeling good enough for your business to succeed for success, to do something, to take uncomfortable action is something in your head telling you.
That you are not good enough. Because this is something that I've personally struggled with for a long time. Fear of failure, fear of just I'm not good enough for this, like when someone would just
come in and soak in that I'm not really good enough to be doing this anyway, so of course that they think this way. And I had A mother that, and I'm not bringing it back to childhood trauma, but so much of this is formative. And so that's why I work so hard at supporting my, my kiddos in a way that this will never be on their radar because their mother unapologetically supported them.
That fear that you are a failure is something that doesn't go away without doing some work. And I know personally with a lot of my coaching clients, they have the same fear. Fear you're not good enough. Fear that you're going to be a failure. Fear that this isn't going to work out. Fear that you're going to fuck up.
Fear that, uh, everybody's going to look at you like you're a fraud and that you shouldn't be doing this. Fear that you're not going to be making the money that you, you need to be making. Fear that this is just gonna, you're gonna fall flat on your ass. So, that's real. And I'm not saying it's not. Because some people will be like, You just need to not acknowledge that that's happening.
Like, this has been my, my reality. My mom has been passed away five years now. And I still have daily thoughts that I am not good enough. I'm not a good enough mother, I'm not a good enough business owner, I'm not a good enough wife. Like, some of these things I've transferred from my mom to my husband because I just had to fill that gap of feeling like a failure to somebody.
So if they're being critical, or I feel they're being critical, then I'm defensive. And, and all of those things, like this is a very real thing that most of us don't talk about. Because it's vulnerable. And it's scary. And it feels frankly like shit. Like this is something that has just always felt icky.
And there's all of these triggers for me that I can think back to the exact time where some of these formative like instances happened that basically when something even remotely similar happens I'm just, I'm back to that part of myself, that age, that, that whole like developmental, um, standpoint in my life that that instance happened.
And I've talked about this before, but I wanted to dedicate an episode to it because I've had some coaching clients lately that have similar mama or daddy drama that, that I had. And I've had a lot of friends that have the same thing. I'm in a mastermind right now and it is very, very alive and well that people are feeling this way.
And it's, it's hard to even know where to start. And what can you do to really diminish and like smother that feeling when it happens? And one of the biggest transformative things that I did that I think that really helped me move past some of them is I went down to meet with, um, this business coach slash podcaster slash just person that I absolutely adore.
We did this VIP day and in this VIP day, we, um, went and did EFT, which is tapping. And we tapped through, like, all of these feelings of why I never felt like I was good enough. Why I felt like I was a failure. Why I never passed approval. And, like, just tapped through, like, it was this extremely emotional experience.
Because, like, I didn't know how much was buried there. Because there had been so many instances over time. But, I also think that even if you had parents that were supportive, this can develop in you if you're doing big things and don't have support, or maybe something did go wrong or something wasn't a complete success, and like, there's nothing that ever counterbalanced that, and so you're just backwards.
And that is not a fun place to be in either, but it's not as like, you don't have 40 years of fuckery to deal with. You might have, like, I've been trying to do big, bold things and get out of my comfort zone for the last five years. And maybe this happened or maybe that happened. And so that, that experience of going through this could be completely different.
But doing EFT. And me tapping through and saying, like, even though, you know, this happened, I, you know, like, basically, I love and forgive myself for all of those things that had happened. All of the instances, like, um, like, tapping through, like, forgiving my mom for, like, making me feel this way for so long.
And I definitely played a part in that because I allowed that. I do not allow that type of thinking or criticalness into my life anymore. So if I have someone in my life, that person's gonna be supporting, loving, giving. And so I'm curating who's around me to be the support person that I need. And people who don't serve that who are people who make me feel like shit or make me feel...
Like I'm a failure or I'm not good enough. I don't I don't have time for that anymore. I have prioritized that me being surrounded by positivity, by people who are supportive, is more important than a friendship that really isn't serving me. And that is a difficult choice. Like this whole topic is a difficult, muddy, mucky, icky thing to live by.
Live in, but I started saying to myself, and I don't know if you want to adapt this, but it really helped me, like, I deserve people in my life who love me, who support me. Who are a fan of me and everything that I do, who don't have conditions on their love or affection, who don't care if I fail at something, who are excited that I am trying, who are One of my biggest fans, like people who love me and those people who are that equal energy exchange that I'm going to give that feeling, emotion and everything back to because they are deserving of it because they are giving back.
We're being reciprocal about our relationship, about our love, about And it is hard when you have that person who is always taking from you and making you feel like crap to know what to do with that. And for me at this point, I'm like, I don't have time or space or energy to dedicate to relationships that don't serve.
Me being my best self who aren't congruent with in support of my dreams and aspirations. I had so many people like, Jen, I don't get this whole podcasting. I don't understand why, why are you doing it? And then I had people that are, were like, Well, do you want to, um, you know, send some podcasts, uh, like, maybe you should, like, have people, like, listen to it before you do anything, like, three to five people and get feedback.
And so, like, all these fraughty feelings, like, coming in, going, like, Jenny, you're not good enough to do this. Look at all these people who don't believe that. My 000 downloads. That is amazing. Like, I get DMs all the time from people who have been impacted. So their opinion did not matter. I took uncomfortable action and I did things, I did hard things because I believe in myself.
And that's where it needs to start is you believing in yourself so much that whatever somebody else says doesn't matter. So if you... Completely love yourself. You might not love every single thing about you, every single minute detail, but I love myself. I know that I am an achiever. I know that I am a magnet for success.
I, like the way that I'm talking to myself is in complete support of this next level version. that I want to be. And this might be something weird to be talking about. I, like, thought about, like, people might think this is weird to talk about, like, people, like, in your, when you're growing up and all these formative things telling you you're a failure.
Or you're making you feel like you're a failure. How is this anything to do with you running a successful floral business? Everything. Your mindset and your attitude about your business, about you as a person, about your success, about your dream. Is everything to whether or not your business is going to be successful.
If you don't have the right mindset, I've seen it. It is not going to happen. You're going to put your give up panties on. You're going to put half ass energy in it. It is not going to be abundant. You need to make big mental shifts if you want abundance to happen. If you don't want to live with dealing with parents who don't believe in you or you fear that everything you do is scrutinized by them.
I didn't talk to my mom a lot of different times in my life because that was too much energy for me to expend. And... Alcoholism and all the other things she had going on were just, were too much that for me to grow, I needed separation from that. And I don't, like, now that she's gone, I wish I had more time with her, but that space was critical for my growth as a person.
And I know that when I was with her and how I took care of her was, like, the best I possibly could have done with her circumstances. Because she lived in a place where she was stuck. She was stuck living in the past, living in abuse, living in, um, sickness. Like, alcoholism is a sickness. And, like, she was definitely stuck.
Addiction is just ugly. And it's... One of the reasons why I choose to not do anything that is mildly addictive, because obviously my family is a fucking magnet for it, and I have no time for that. And I've never, like, tried smoking, thought it was gross, because I mentally just couldn't. And my dad smoked for like 60 years.
I choose not to encroach in those behaviors, not to do those things, because... I know that it's not going to serve me. And it's funny because, um, I think I, my opinion on like smoking and drinking and things, and I'll have a Bloody Mary on a week, weekend, like on a Sunday brunch, very, very rarely. But I'm not saying like that is completely off the table, but I know anything more than that is not on the table because it's just not good, good for my mindset.
I don't like how it feels. I don't like all of the conditions that in my life alcohol has, has kind of meshed with. And so I make decisions every day to support not feeling like a failure by doing things like that. Because if I started to drink... Then I went, I'm failing just like my mom did, and my dad, and a lot of other people I know.
And I just choose not to do that every day, and so can you. You can choose to be a different mother. You can choose to be a different person than your family. And I know that seems weird, but you can do it. I choose every day to be a better mother than my mother was. And I have a complicated kiddo and a little tornado of a kiddo, but I choose every day to be the best mother that my mom was not capable of.
The best person that my mother wasn't capable of, my dad wasn't capable of. I choose to not let addictions and negativity seep in because they, that was a choice they made every day. And I'm better than that, and so are you. Thank you so much for listening, flower 📍 friend, and have an amazing flower filled week.
Mhm.