The Floral Hustle

 

Hello, flower friends. This is Jen, and you're listening to the Floral Hustle podcast on this week's episode. And for the month of October, we've been talking all about building a 100, 000 business, but sometimes life is hard. And sometimes that feels like I can't add one more thing or I feel like I'm gonna break.

I've had a lot of dialogue in the last week about things being hard, things feeling tough, things feeling overwhelming, things feeling like frankly, like I can't handle anything more enough to seek help because they're at that point. And I can honestly say, like, and I, I don't mean to, if anybody is struggling with this, this is, this is me, this is a combination of how I have grown up, how I have had to survive so much of my life, and so it might not be where you're at.

But all I can share is like where I'm at and why and so we're going to talk about balancing motherhood, balancing being a 100, 000 business owner and balancing that with So being a 100, 000 business owner, I mean, I'm in the like mid threes range. I do that out of my garage. I do that with no employees. I have, freelancers who help me and a lot of it.

I'm, I don't have any softwares or systems that That are automating things like it's me and I'm totally okay with that because with the volume that I'm taking in it's also not overwhelming to me and does that mean like in three months I might not automate something it might feel good I do what feels good in my business and feels good for me and that's honestly a lot of why I'm here from a mental standpoint, because I do things in my business that feel good, and I don't do things that do not feel good.

And that choice is a privilege. And I completely understand that not everybody is in that place, but making those decisions has helped me grow my business. It's helped me grow as a person. It's helped me really grasp what is important, not only as a human, as a mother, but it's helped me prioritize to grow things that feel good in my business.

Starting out with, like, really balancing being a 100k business owner. I, of course, approach everything, like, I'm doing things that feel good in my business. I'm not doing things that don't feel good. I feel good about finding a way to say no in a way that feels good, in a way that You know, speaks to like what's important to me and with balancing that, like I, I don't let it get out of balance because things ebb and flow and I understand things ebb and flow in business and life.

So I know if this week is a really big week and I know that. And that's okay. Last week was not such a big week, but I had a lot of other dynamic. I mean, I've had a lot of dynamic with my daughter lately. I have had some dynamic with my husband. He had appendicitis, and we had to have his appendix removed, and he can't lift anything, and I've been having to do some of the things that he's had to take care of, and I've had meetings with school because things are tricky with, with Bella right now.

So like, with all of that I balance what I can handle and what I'm willing to take on when it comes to making decisions. Like, I, every Sunday, look at my week and if something doesn't feel good, I make the decision to clear it out. I can reschedule something. And I'm not gonna feel bad about it, if something doesn't feel good.

I can reschedule it. And if it's three months away, so be it. It is what it is. I would rather feel good in making these decisions and not make decisions out of obligation or feeling like this is what I should be doing. And if somebody doing business with me, I'm respecting, of course, their boundaries on timelines of cancellations and rescheduling.

And I'm respecting that they're running a business and businesses are ran to make money. And I totally get that, but I'm prioritizing what feels good. What I know is going to help set me up for success. I had the appropriate help last week so that I could deal with, I had the free challenge, the free five day to 100K challenge last week.

And I totally knew that that was going to take bandwidth. It literally took bandwidth. Our internet was having huge issues last week, and so I was mentally so flustered with the internet in our house last week that I was plotting revenge on my husband because I was so frustrated, because I'm like, when I took care of the internet, it was not doing this, and I know that is just my thoughts.

And. It's probably not true. I'm just making a big deal, but I had the internet die nine times and I had to spend two hours editing one of the videos to get all these hunks of time out and I was embarrassed and I felt like, but you know what? I'm, I was trying to offer free value and that's how I looked at it.

I'm offering free value. I put so much work into this free challenge to help set up people for success. And I know that the program that I was, I'm offering right now, the 12 week floral CEO accelerator, like I poured so much time because I wanted this program to be the catalyst for change in someone.

And so like, I knew going into it, like all good intentions, all real, like all love and. You know, thought and care was put in that. So like, I'm not going to beat myself up for a technology issue. So like I give myself grace when I need to give myself grace and that helps me balance everything. I also, I had a few things happen where, you know, like, I didn't know some things were made or, or not wrapped or not bagged by my freelancers because I didn't communicate well enough that this was more of a priority than these things to get the immediate things done instead of future pacing other things.

That was a learning moment. So even though, like, I had a little bit, I always have learning moments of how I should be communicating differently or better. I assume because I have done something a hundred million times, they have not. So it is my job as a leader when things do get complicated to step back and go, how could I learn to do this different next time?

So part of balance, even when something feels tricky or hard, how can I do it better next time? That's how I'm balancing it because I know that I'm not going to be here again because I'm going to communicate more clear that these are our top priorities to get done so that I wasn't doing that. At nine o'clock at night and I maybe needed to provide better instruction I maybe need to do this and that and this and that and then all of a sudden like somebody put a sheet that looked Like there was 12 different more corsages with something and like I was kind of like oh my god after five days After this internet problem after all this I'm like now I got to make like 12 corsages and boutonnieres and it was literally like Nobody cleared out all the papers, so it was a leftover paper from a wedding last week that looked identical to the other piece of the paper.

But things sometimes are just going to be hard, and I know for next time how to do it different if it does get hard. So I'm not going to live consistently in hard. That's part of balance, knowing that I'm going to learn this time. I'm going to shift so that I know next time, like, what needs to be done different in how I'm communicating, because if somebody fucks something up, it's likely not their fault.

I have actually had blatant I've explained it to somebody exactly this way, and they've done it completely different. That, I know, I explicitly communicated it to them, and they did it different for whatever reason. So not 100 percent of the time am I, am I, the bad guy in this situation, or did I do this wrong?

But I maybe didn't clarify and answer their questions, ask if they had questions. I maybe didn't show them frequently or often enough, or they could have observed somebody else doing it a different way that I didn't know was, was helping with that item or doing whatever. So, it's my job to constantly guide the people who are in my studio to do things how I want.

I'm actually working on, and I'm taking a picture every time that a SOP moment happens, so a Standard Operating Procedures moment, taking a picture every time a Standard Operating Procedure moment happens, because I'm going to make a book for next year. It's in the book. So, like, it's clearly laid out.

It's in the book. So you can do those same things, too. You can develop things to be standard operating procedures in your business to make it easier. So another thing I do to balance my life, because my life is really, really full. My life is really, really busy. is I use Calendly. Calendly, you can use Gmail, you can use all sorts of acuity scheduling.

Calendly gives me the ability to send someone a scheduling link and me not have to babysit my availability. I do not want to babysit my availability. That sounds freaking horrible. Going back and forth takes so much time and so I want to send a scheduling link and then like they can schedule it at their timeline and so that alone has created so much balance in my life because I'm not feeling like I'm having to rush and accommodate.

People can schedule just like they do a doctor's appointment just like they do the rest of the world and it can feel good for me. It doesn't need to feel like crap. And it can feel good for you too. So Calendly has a free one service offering link. If you want to make even a generic like 30 minute link, 45 minute link, that's for wedding consultations, that's for whatever, like that could also be a networking, it could be a meet with.

I have a meet with Jenny link. I pay for Calendly because I have nine different appointment types. I have a like if somebody is interested in coaching or being the mastermind is full now, but if they were interested in that, or if you're interested in hearing, um, more and connecting to see if working with me on, or if a workshop is good for you or one, uh, the new accelerator program, if that's for you, whatever I have a 15 minute get to know you link.

I have a 30 minute chat with Jenny link. That's like if somebody wants to chat with some me about whatever, I can send that to them. I have a wedding consultation. I have a podcast interview link. I have a mastermind. Each one of my mastermind girls I meet with once a month. Like all of those things are easily scheduled by me sending them the link.

For one, I save so much time going back and forth. Two, I'm living not in reactivity. People can live in reactivity to my schedule and schedule it around theirs. So it's just taking that off of my plate. My next thing that I do to balance my life is on Sundays I prepare for the week. So I've done episodes about this Sunday night prep.

I'm getting everybody in my household on the same page. I'm making sure that I have our, our household schedule filled out. So everybody knows where they need to be, when. There's no surprises. Everybody knows when mom's leaving. Everybody knows when mom will be here. You can do that same thing by getting a magnetic calendar on Amazon.

If you are constantly answering questions of where I need to be today this is going to save you so much time. Get this calendar, magnet, put it on the fridge, so anytime anybody's getting food out of the fridge, it's right there. You are now closed to be everybody's secretary. Just put it on there.

Even yourself, if you need those constant reminders. I also, to balance my life, I don't ever want to worry that I'm not going to be somewhere when I'm supposed to, so I use Google Calendar for my life. All my meetings, all my life things are in there. On Sunday when I'm doing my Sunday night prep, I'm prep, I'm plugging in even when I'm going to go to CrossFit.

If I want to go and get a massage at the little massage place, that gets plugged in there. Like all of those things. I'm scheduling my life for success. scheduling it so that it kind of maybe will work. I'm thinking I might go on Tuesday, but I'll have to see how I feel. That is just not an option. So part of balance is making sure that you're optimizing your schedule for everything you do.

And if you don't plan, it's not going to happen. I have pottery class booked in there. I have whatever it is that I want to do, it's in there. You can do the same thing. And, this process takes like 15 to 30 minutes, and you will be a fucking rock star that week. Like, you will have everything, for one, wrapped, your brains wrapped around what you need to do.

And so, you can stop overwhelmed, because you can look at your calendar and go, this doesn't feel good. I need to shift. I need to change it. I need to get more help. God, you know what? I'm not getting this done. I need to find someone to help me. That was just a reminder. I didn't get the trim painted.

I need to try to find somebody that maybe can paint the trim of the house. Whatever it is you can find someone to do that. It is not hard to spend five minutes going, This doesn't feel good. How can I fix it? How can this feel good? How can this be easy? And you deserve to do that. That is your right as a person who needs to make sure that their mental health is in a good spot.

I don't ever want you to get to a spot that you're like, I can't do this. I am so overwhelmed. I'm cracking. That breaks my heart that that happens. And part of the reason, like, this is so sensitive and triggering to me is that I had my sister take her life the week I graduated high school. She was a year and 17 days younger than me.

And it was when I was 17. It was. It's one of the most horrible things that has happened to me in my life. I mean, I've lost my family too. And that's been equally my mom and my dad. That's been horrible. I've lost two other siblings. I wasn't as close to them. They were half siblings and were a lot older than me, but I have had some things happen to me.

And that one thing is just like, so triggering and because I. am so in control of how I feel and I get the help I need. I go and talk about it. I have systems in place to make sure that I feel good all the time. It just breaks my heart that when I see someone in this spot, I mean, that's why I became a certified life and mindset coach because I don't want people to feel like they're ever at that point of breaking.

It is something that, because I personally know. that bad things can happen and you can still feel really good. I have had, I mean, I could, I could write a book. I've literally had people tell me I should write a book about surviving all the things that have happened to me. And I've talked about that numerous times on the podcast, but like, I am serious.

I could write a book. Like you, it is, When I tell people things that have happened, they're just like, Whoa, I've, I've been abused. I've been, all the things. My parents had a very abusive relationship. We were in protective, like, custody, trying to be hidden from my father. I mean, like, there were so many things that I survived, but that does not make me the human who I am now.

I am the human I am now because I survived that but also because I've safeguarded and I've chosen to no longer be a victim to those things. I've chosen that my life is going to be different and that is part of balance is choosing. You can choose. If this doesn't feel good, you can fucking change it. If you need help, you can get it.

Like I, if you do coaching with me, we aren't a lot of times just talking about how you're going to build a successful business. We're talking about how you're going to start feeling good enough to have the business that you deserve. We're talking about how you can get over. overwhelm, and like, what are tactics to do that?

How can we make this business digestible that, and it feels good? How can we, with the least amount of time, grow a business that makes you happy and not stressful? Like, all of those things are within your grasp. And that's why becoming certified was so important. I'd always done, I mean, I've done a lot of work.

There is Jenny's Brain that is the, have tons of personal development courses. I've taken courses from Marie Forleo B School, Time Genius Digital Course Academy. I've been in four different masterminds. I've spent just on one on one coaching with someone. I've spent over 15, 000 just on that. I have taken the Blue Blossom Academy.

I've been in so many different courses. Oh, my certification to become a life coach was like 4, 500. I, it is crazy. Like, that's just one part. But the other part of me becoming better with everything that's happened. Like, I've invested in therapy. I've had life coaches. I, we have an autism parenting coach.

I've invested in me as a person getting to where I'm at I'm at, I mean, the getting certified for the life and mindset has really helped me figure out, like, when I'm doing this, this is because, um, my husband has been through a ton of trauma. And I'm able to help he has anxiety. I am able to help him in ways I call, I'm his calming goat, if you've watched Ferdinand.

I am his calming goat, like, I help him level out. Because things can feel hard, but they don't need to stay hard. And I want that for you. So that is part of balance. If something feels hard, you are completely in your power to make it feel better by changing it. And that's in your business and your life.

So how do you balance motherhood? That is another thing that's just tricky. I, when I had Bella she, her dad is an epic piece. And I have a restraining order still against him because he threatened my life. And he made our daughter act like a crazy person, even in supervised visitation. She came out and said she was going to kill me.

It was horrible. And so I, she was, Pretty non verbal until she was almost four. It was like we were working really hard going to speech a couple times a week. And I was doing that as a single mom. So I was bringing her and I didn't have my, my mom was not there. My dad had passed years ago. His mom definitely wasn't there because she's part of the crazy problem.

And I know that like the work then has made her as high functioning as she is now. But it was hard. And now I know that I need to balance with everything that I have going on. Being their mother is still my most important job. Because every time I do something, and I think I do this because of how I grew up, because my mom was so dysfunctional, and most of ours was, right?

Will this result in a therapy session when she is 25 or he is 25? And anytime it's even borderline, I'm like, absolutely not. Like, we need to find a better way to do this. And so I have my therapist, obviously, still, but we have an autism parenting coach. so much. There are situations that I sometimes don't know how to handle.

Her brain works differently than mine. And I want to make sure that I am helping her. And so my motto is, why are we choosing hard? If something is really hard and it's not helpful, when hard is not helpful, you. We need to figure out a different way. And that isn't just because I have a neuro divergent kid.

That is because I just want her to feel really, really good in her life. And that takes work. Like I have a little notes app. Anytime something happens like this week she was really upset in the morning one day because she put a shirt on and her collarbone was, was showing. She felt the shirt was too loose.

And. I then, kind of, it was confusing because she's worn this exact shirt before, it's really cute, it's got like ruffles on it, and she looked adorable, and to find out Some shithead kid was showing rap videos of a girl in very scantily clothes, shaking her goodies. And I think Bella, it was like one of probably the first times that she felt really like women were being objectified.

And so like, she wasn't welcoming that in. It's so interesting because I see girls at her class dressing, and I'm going to say the word hoochie. Like they're wearing tummy tops, and they're wearing very short skirts. They're wearing Very really revealing clothes and my daughter wants to dress like a nun and so like it's so interesting because I'm like I'm excited about that.

But I also feel bad because of the premise of why I'm I'm proud of her But like this kid like for real, what are you doing? And I know he's a kid and I know that happens and I know that Bella stood up for herself Which I was really proud of her. But like I As moms, we always have to be on our toes.

We're the majority of time carrying the mental load of the household. I mean, not only were we navigating that situation, we were navigating Like, this, we're starting an instrument, and the instructions from school have been really confusing, and when instructions are confusing, it's really hard for Bella.

And when something doesn't happen that she thinks is going to happen, it's really hard for her. And navigating that, Is like, I mean, that's like a full time job just there. I know being a mom and being a business owner is stressful because it's complicated. But it's all about making that balance of like, I feel like I'm doing a good job.

I'm crushing it as a mom. I know I'm crushing it as a mom. Like, I look at other kids and I look at what their moms are doing. Their moms are surviving, not thriving. And I am teaching my children to thrive. And if it doesn't feel like that, what do you need to change to make it feel like that? Because I guarantee your heart's in the right place, and I guarantee that you are a good mom.

I had, I was telling somebody that this week, I was like, you know you are a good mom, because they were getting messages that they weren't. And, Normally, if, if you're getting that message for somebody, it's because probably they're failing, and they're projecting on you, and it was, it was a, an ex partner projecting that only has the children two days.

I'm sorry, but our frame of reference on parenting is a little different. I have them 12 days, you have them two. You can parent how you want to but I will keep the ship moving forward and our kids sane. And you have that power. You totally have that power. So another thing that I've been really diving into lately is being a business owner and having, of course, now I have like, I mean we realistically have three, but the coaching business and the floral business.

And. navigating that with ADHD. So I got diagnosed and people joke about having ADHD. I think it's so interesting. It's like, Oh, he's ADHD or I'm neurodivergent. It's like, have you even been tested? Like I went through formal testing. It was like three hours and I was like, I went to a psychologist afterwards and met with them to help really strategize on how to be successful with this.

I had known that this was a problem for a long time. 50 percent of the time, you're, you're gonna give it to your kids. So my, my daughter, and I'm guessing Bodhi, likely has it. And I view it as a superpower because I function at a higher level because of it. Are some things complicated? Absolutely. But, It is my job as their mother and it's my job as taking care of myself to make it as easy as possible and feel good.

So, some of the things that I do is I use a project management tool. Like, I put things in a place to keep them organized, and so can you. I also make sure that I am writing stuff down and catching it when it comes out of my brain, either by texting it to me, or in, I still love paper stuff. I love having a notebook and writing stuff in it.

I just need to make sure it gets somewhere. And then on my Sunday night prep, I'm capturing that information. I'm adding it into my master projects management software tool. Um, I use Trello. It is free for up to 10 boards. It is. So nice to be able to like, look at something and like, this is everything that I need to do.

What are three things that I can pick from this, this week to tackle? So I don't feel like I'm failing. I'm like actually moving the needle. When I have a big project, like when I did all the silk flower stuff, I attacked it and then, you know, broke it down into little chunks. So how can you little chunk it to make it more doable?

To make anytime somebody's like, I want to get this big, huge thing done in our weekly accountability in the mastermind. Yeah. I was like, that sounds like a lot. How can we make that so little that it's really, really doable, so you feel like you're moving forward? And you can do that same thing. You can use Trello.

You can use a spreadsheet. You can use your paper. Like, those are just a few things that I think are helpful, is having that project management software. You can do that for, like, a weekly flow for posting on social media, you could use a scheduling tool for a weekly flow. I mean, there's so many different things, but, like, there are tools, more tools than we've ever had.

I do think Google Calendar is one of the biggest tools to help keep you organized and on track. I have several different calendars because I have my personal email. I have the Floral Hustle email, I have the Green Goddess email. Like, it is a lot, but. As long as you can merge your calendars into one, then you're only keeping track of one spot.

You're only on your phone in one spot. All my emails go into one spot on my phone. You can make things easier by putting systems in place. Like, I always get overwhelmed when I feel like I'm not capturing things I need to do or ideas. There are notes apps. There are, you could text yourself. All the things.

Like, you can set yourself up for success very easily. If you need help with that, we could meet for a one on one session. It's like 200. It's so reasonable. And we could game plan how you're gonna get stuff done. Because I get more done. I know that's also kind of a heady thing to say. I get more done than the average human.

Because I do. Last week alone, I did It was 7, 500 of weddings. I went to CrossFit four times. I went to pottery class. I brought Bella to karate twice. I went to jujitsu with Bodhi once. I dug a bunch of dahlias up. I got silk, a bunch of stuff ordered and delivered. I got my weddings ordered for another week.

I booked two weddings. I sent two quotes. I went on a date with my husband. Um, I brought the kids somewhere else to, oh, I think we went to Target one day and I don't know, just like a million things. So like, it's all about organizing your week for success. And I know you can do that. So, thank you so much for listening.

I hope some of these tips were helpful, and if you ever are struggling, know that you have a friend in me, and I am here to support you. I never want someone to get to a breaking point. I care so, so much about your guys success. That's why I'm doing this. Like, this is free. I am doing this podcast. It actually costs me money to have this podcast made.

so much. Because I want to be impactful. I don't want people to feel how I felt 10 years ago. I know you can be better. I know you can be making more money. I know that you can feel good in your life and your business. It is so possible. And I hope these episodes or episodes like this show you that change is inevitable and you are destined for great things.

Thanks so much flower friend and you have an amazing flower filled week.