The Floral Hustle

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Hello flower friends. This is Jen and we're gonna have a really personal, vulnerable episode, and I have felt like this more than I ever have in the last month with starting the move to the farm. And having these nonstop weekends, which in the big grand scheme of things, like what my business is doing is success, but I hold myself to these unbelievably.

Fucking crazy standards of performance and tons of that. I mean, you guys have heard me, if you've been a podcast listener, I have always struggled with feeling like I am good enough and I, I felt this immense pressure that I wasn't good enough for my mother because she criticized and questioned. Then I have an older I am now the youngest out of nine children.

My dad had six children in his first marriage and my mom had one, and then they had two. I lost my younger sister. So I'm the baby in the family, so I have a bunch of fucking older siblings. One who I really, really care about that is very important in my life, is very important in my children's life. I have another one that lives close by but is older in the older brother and you know that.

But I have forever because I never felt like I was good enough for my mother and. People talk about like they have these feelings. I have truly figured out where my feelings have come from. I was the person who didn't go to school like my mom thought I should. I didn't do all these big things like my mom thought I should.

I wasn't the mother how she thought I should be. And I mean, one of the, the last memories that I remember with her and my daughter, 'cause my daughter was, I was about three and we went to Disney on Ice and we bought a beautiful princess dress for my little girl. And this was right around the time we were discovering Bella had autism and it was, and her dad was being a crazy piece of shit.

Just all these very tumultuous things that were happening. Bella was so excited to be in the Xcel Energy Center, which is in St. Paul, and it's this huge place, and we're at this there's magical princesses. You guys like going around and she barely barely talked like at almost three. Like she's just running.

I, I call it like try to run around the world without being understood by really anybody. Just imagine what your temperature would be like, how your brain was functioning if you were running around. I was like, so this little girl was running hot and was so excited and we didn't know, but like loud and all these things were actually really overstimulating for her, and all she wanted to do is dance in the aisle, and my mom thought it was so inappropriate.

Inappropriate was her word. And end of discussion. And like I was just excited, like she's enjoying and like isn't shutting down and all these things were like magical about this moment and turned my mom, turned it into this completely opposite. And I don't mean to dive deep into this, but if you struggle with some, underlying feeling, there is a reason.

There is a fundamental root. I have done the work to understand and like when this feeling starts creeping up, like I, I can, a lot of it I've like transferred to my husband, like when he says something, I feel the judgment that I felt when she told me I was a horrible mother for letting my daughter play in the aisle and.

It's really hard when somebody's literally beaten this feeling into you for, my mom's been gone now for over six years, and I'm 46. So for 40 years you had a, a feeling of inadequacy that was like basically pounded into you and how that is transferred. It has transferred into me being successful because it transferred into me trying and pushing myself so hard that there was no fucking way I would fail because I was going to prove to her that I, even I'm still doing things that I can trigger back.

I'm doing it because I want to prove to her that I am worthy and I am, I am good enough and I am making good decisions. And like all these things, and I talk about this because I, I know that this might not be the exact thing that you feel, but I'm guessing there is some underlying thing if, if something fundamentally is wrong with your life.

Or doesn't feel good or feels wrong off, like understanding why has connected me in a way to help try to stop it. Because I can track it in my path and start to say, I. I know that that's not true because I am a good mother because like I fight for my children. I am a mom that shows up. I am a mom that has gotten every single resource for my daughter that she possibly ever could.

I will never say that I failed in making sure that they were taken care of. I will never be able to say that. I made them feel inadequate, like my daughter has a saying, um, different, not less, which is really touching because she's really coming into understanding autism at a level that she understands that her brain works differently than others.

And she's really identifying with other people with autism. Like she met this girl at. Circus class that also had autism and like she just felt like she wasn't alone. And I hope this, like me going into that, like even someone who I feel I'm successful, I have persevered over so much of my life. there are scars from all the shit.

Over all the years, that shit, over all the years has just made me realize that. And I'm not a religious person and if you are like more power to you, but I know that whatever higher power wouldn't have given me more than I could handle and. How this has really evolved recently is I have had this very, very, very, very full schedule of getting our house ready, of getting stuff moved.

The animals, and you guys, you've been listening or alpaca had a baby two months before and then didn't want anything to do with it. So then it was at the U of M and they have a large animal hospital. And so like I'm literally at 1230 at night driving up with mom in her animal trailer and a baby alpaca wrapped in a towel on my lap.

And then water came through our ceiling at our new house and. I had one of my mastermind girls and you guys, I show up for my mastermind girls, like if they need me. I got them. Like I, one of them had their baby seven weeks early and lives in, in the Minneapolis area, and I told her that I didn't want her to worry about anything.

So if anything happened, I got hurt and it happened. She had her baby way early. She thought she was gonna be on bedrest, but that turned into having a baby. And so like I already had a really big wedding and here I'm doing another really big wedding on the top of a million other things. And then I was meeting with my business coach today and I was talking about all of these big things I wanna do for you guys because.

Coaching lights me up. Like I love, I have had so much success in the girls in the Mastermind recently that it is just like, it is so giving to me and I know that it's as exciting as seeing my children do something. Like I had one of my girls got a huge contract to do. A major, I don't know, it's um, the state football they have like a weekly thing.

It's like a 40 some thousand dollars contract or something. It was just huge. And then I had another girl like that was starting her business. She's been a florist for a million years and she did her first like big wedding. And then another one of my girls. Did her biggest wedding and it was beautiful and it was at a fancy place and like we walked through everything from candles to ordering and everything.

And so like these just big things light me up, but also like somebody just understanding like their business and how to make money and how to say no, and how to be happy, how to manage everything. Like I am the queen of chaos. I, I sometimes have to think, like yesterday I had a really hard day. I, we had the water come to the ceiling on Saturday when we came down to the farm after I had done two fucking huge weddings in the blazing sun.

With a bride that I was, wasn't my bride, this was my mastermind girls bride. And she acted a tad crazy on the call, but I was like, I'm gonna go, I got this. This is gonna be perfect. I exude confidence in these things. So I'm like, I got this, she might be crazy. I don't know her that well. So like all of that, come back to the farm and another goat.

I bit my daughter's fucking goat's ear I think, or tore it or something happened that it was like part of it was hanging off and like then I'm at tractor supply, buying goat Neosporin bandages and a million things to clean it. 'cause goats are fucking dirty. You guys like it. Literally I have a goat house on the farm and it like exploded shit in there.

And I, I should have taken a video, but because I had to clean, it was so gross. Like documenting, that seemed like insulting to my being. It was like an explosion of shit. And then a fucking chicken died last week. And then the worst thing happened in the world. Like you guys if you follow me on Instagram, the cinnamon saga of the New Year's.

She got really sick. I literally syringe fed her and she got better and was great and I was excited to bring them down to the farm. I got him a brand new cage and the neighbor's fucking dog got in it and took it and snapped its neck and like, this is the first time our dog had died like a year ago or maybe a year and a half ago.

And like, I got it cremated. So my like kids had never buried anything. Like I, my do, my son watched the dog do this to the bunny that was in our house for two months and it was just, it was devastating. And like today, I'm, I. Long story short, I had a weekend, I bandage a goat's ear. I buried a bunny. I found a chalk marker and made a marker on a big rock and picked flowers for my favorite bunny, and also like had water come to the ceiling and had gotten an argument with my husband.

And you know, just, but like I look at these joy filled moments. I made this beautiful fucking hard Granda arch. It was spectacular on a golf course, and it was hotter than Hades, and I was worried like, this is hot. I left my spray bottle there for them to spray it several times before the ceremony, and I knew I was gonna come back and do a flip and move this arch, and I'm like plotting, how am I gonna move?

This arch is huge and I have to go up a flight of stairs and everything, and. But I was just looking at it going isn't this cool? Like I just made this really beautiful thing in the middle of a beautiful golf course in the beautiful, this beautiful city, it's Red Wing, Minnesota, which is like was a beautiful drive that I got to do with Elaine, my favorite, like she's like my mom and like was like, what an awesome job I have.

Then I'm on the farm and I am just said clean shit and I had just bandage a goat's ear and I just had a weekend. And baby Teddy, my baby alpaca, came up to me and put his face and licked me. And the little goat whose ear is fucked. My kids were begging to put a diaper on it so it could come in the house.

And this turned into this today. I literally had four emails of, and I have to do four quotes right now. And then I'm talking about starting a membership and all these big things I wanna do with the coaching business because I love the coaching business, but I love the floral business and like. I really just came to this like realization that I am pushing myself and pushing myself to a point that isn't sustainable, but I've always made it sustainable before, and there comes a point that you can't make something be sustainable anymore.

And in this beautiful life we've created now, like I don't want it to be sustainable anymore because I've built this beautiful life to be able to go out and really have a baby alpaca lick my face, be able to go and make sure my chickens in the craziest chicken coop I've ever seen that was on this farm.

And able to we got a mower, we had to get a big mower 'cause we have all this land mow and I'd never driven a zero turn mower. And of course my husband wanted a John Deere zero turn and I found one for him. And my son's I wanna go drive the mower mom. And like, I wanna do that with him. So it makes me recently, like I've always enjoyed moments with my children.

I love my children. I love my husband, I love my friends. I love my motorcycle. I love going to CrossFit. Like I love all these things, but it's really made me realize that I can't define success by busy anymore. And. I'm really curious on what, how you define success. Like when someone looks at me, they were like, oh my God, you have so much going on.

I do have so much going on, and it's to a point of excess, to a point of that it's starting to not feel good. So I'm at a point of choices, and the biggest choice is that I need to redefine what success is. That's keeps evolving. I never thought in a million years I had of course, tried to manifest it.

I knew I would manifest this farm happening. I just knew that in my heart, I knew that the farm would happen. I never knew I would have a baby alpaca. You guys. I never knew I would have a baby horse, a miniature horse that had a baby. I, I never knew all of these things and that would feel this way.

'cause I grew up on a farm. I had felt the farm vibes, I felt the farm life. But like it's like a whole nother level when you're actually doing it. And if you are questioning like. I really want this floral business to be successful because I want my life to be a certain way. It can be. I wholeheartedly know that your floral business could change your life.

Your floral business could be the catalyst for change, the catalyst for the change of you into really the human. You evolve into and like I'm a totally different human than I was even five years ago. You guys, like I have higher expectations of everything. Like I have elevated. I have elevated immensely because I've invested heavily into the person that I am right now.

And it is just shocking to me. Like I have people that are like, I really wanna join the floral CEO Mastermind. But it's like such a big investment. Holy shit, you guys. It is cheap. It's like two 50 a month right now, and I haven't raised the price since I started it and I've added more stock like it. I have invested $1,500 a month in coaching.

I joined a thousand dollars a month Mastermind like I. It has paid me back so much. It has changed my perception of success. And when you get around people who are more successful, who are like that next iteration and you see it and it's like at your fingertips away, it is crazy. So much changes. If you were looking for a space to elevate, of course I'm gonna plug the floral CEO Mastermind.

Go check it out. Go come at Mastermind on any one of my Instagram posts, or head to the floral hustle.com/mastermind because that was the catalyst being around people who wanted bigger thanks. And like my girls in the Mastermind, want big thanks and. The things that they've learned in there have saved them so much money, have helped them win big, have helped them get contracts, have helped them do so many big things.

I had one of my previous Mastermind girls like, just got a shout out in this article and I was just like so proud of her and like she paid it back by saying the most, like that the Mastermind basically was a game changer for her and. I'm telling you, like if you are looking to change, start being around.

And if that is even like an accountability partner, whatever, get around people who want bigger things. And being around my business coach today and like her approach that, like she just told me, she's like, Jen, what you're doing isn't sustainable because it shouldn't be. And like I hadn't even thought about it that way.

Because I was thinking, how am I going to make this sustainable? And she was telling me I shouldn't. So that perspective shift was worth what I paid, which was a lot. And if you need that extra kick in the ass, I'm your girl. I hope you guys. Redefining what success looks like for you. I hope you guys are redefining what happiness looks like for you.

I hope you're redefining what you fucking want in life because you deserve so much more than you are probably giving yourself credit for. You deserve a beautiful, amazing life, and your floral business can help you do that. There is so much beauty in what we do. And so much potential. Thank you so much for listening, flower 📍 Friend, and you have an amazing flower filled day.