Do you need new friends?
Hello, flower friends. This is Jen, and you're listening to the Floral Hustle Podcast. On this week's mini sode, we are going to talk about all things. Do you need new friends? ──── This is something that is often a topic people will avoid, but I have for years and years, and especially since I really dove into like improving myself from a personal development standpoint, ── I started looking at like.
Okay, I am the sum of the five people that I am around the most. ─ And when you look at those five people, ──── are they doing the things that you want to be doing? Are they inspiring you? Are they pushing you? Are they driving you? Are they ──── making you small? ──── And by making you small, like, they're dimming your light.
They're not, they're not cheering you on unapologetically to do big things. They... ┅━ First to like be running over to support you, like if you say something, they're like, are you sure you want to do that? That sounds like a big risk. I don't know about that. That seems and you just don't feel ─ Super supported by them.
You feel like you're pretending to be a different person around them, potentially. Or that they're not the people when you're, you're making big moves, ─ that you're not running to tell them. ─ Like, I am so nervous, I am so excited, I am so whatever, because of this thing that I'm doing. And if the answer is you're not running, To share with them. │─
I would seriously take a step back ─ and ask yourself like, why is that? ─ What is going on that really is, is changing? ─── You know, your excitement about this just with this one person, ━──── and if it isn't just one person and if it's a collective of people. ─ That you're like, I can't share these things with them because they're not received well.
I can't share these with, this information with them because I'm gonna just get put down or I'm going to be belittled or I am going to be, you know, made to feel like what I'm asking, wanting is crazy. ───┅┅ And so that I shouldn't be doing it because I have responsibilities. I have all these things. ─ Like, ─ that is not who you want to be surrounding yourself by.
And this can show up in a lot of different ways. ─ You might have parents ─ that just, no matter what you do, you never feel like what you're doing is right. ── And I know from experience, like, that is not a good place to be in. I always felt like I was never good enough. Um, for my mother, I felt like... I mean, she straight up would even tell me she's like...
Because I'm... ─────── I really, like, wanted to be a different mother than her. Because I felt like the mother that she was... ──┃ What isn't good enough for my children and I have higher standards than that. I have a higher, I have more love in my heart because of where I'm at in my life than she ever did. And so it was hard for her to even have the capacity to give what I want to give to my children ── and to myself. ──
It doesn't always go like deep seated with, um, if somebody is like, like how I've described, they're not supportive, they're, they're. You know, almost making you feel small. They're making you feel whatever. They're probably doing that to themselves. ─── And, that, that is a lonely place to be in. That... That makes me, um, I mean, in retrospect, ── I feel bad that, that she, my mother felt that way for a long time.
Um, but, you know, abuse and all these things kind of led to that culmination. And then, of course, when you throw alcohol in the mix, it's never, it's never a healthy cocktail. But, I know, even though I grew up like that, I have a choice to change that. I have a choice on how I react. ─ To that. I have a choice to, to know, which a lot of flower friends that I've talked to, or just human beings in general, even not in the floral industry, when you talk about it, sometimes you don't even have the strength to say, this happened, but I know it's not okay. ──
And you should unapologetically feel supported in your Life in your motherhood, in your business, in whatever you do, ─ you should be surrounded with people that just love the shit out of you because you deserve that ──── and that they might not be capable of doing that, ── or they might not have the same belief structure.
That doesn't mean that you just walk away, obviously from your parents. That's a lot harder. ─ That just means that you need to have boundaries. To support yourself in the version of the person you want to be, ──── and it's even okay to say, I completely understand that you don't agree with what I'm doing, ─ and I know that that what the path that you would like me to take feels good to you because that's what feels safe to you, but I want a different life, a different motherhood, a different career path, a different fulfillment than you do because I deserve it. ────
And I know you disagree with that. And I appreciate this as your way of showing that you love me, ── but I want better for myself. And this to me is the path to better for me. ─── And you've put a boundary in place. You've said that, I, I still see you and I appreciate you, and we're just having a difference of opinion.
That doesn't mean that I don't love you as much. That doesn't mean any of that. That means that I want more. I want better. ─── And this is extremely a hard conversation to have ─ when it is a parent. When it is your best friend. When it is whatever. ── You know, it, it. ─── But once you have that conversation, you feel so much more free.
Like, you feel like, I actually stood up for myself. You have now put the line in the sand that this is what you want for your life. You have ─── really just reaffirmed to yourself internally that you deserve more. ───━─ But let's just say that this is an acquaintance or somebody that's just on social media. ─── If, if they're those people that are just not supporting You in the way that you want to be supported or they make you feel like shit ─ Unfollow them. ┅─
Unfriend them. ─ You are not obligated to be a part of anybody else's circus But your own ─── and so if there is a person I had a person one time that I did her wedding ─── I think it was about 10 years ago. We were Facebook friends ─ and ─── On, um, my sister, I, ─ I have, I'm out of nine children. If, if you've listened to the podcast, you might have heard different names of theirs.
But my, all of them except one were, um, half, uh, brothers and half sisters. And my, uh, hundred percent, you know, full, um, sister, um, ─ uh, killed herself the week I graduated high school. And on her anniversary of that, I posted, And this person decided when I said she committed suicide, which you can say whatever you want, it's your trauma, it's your deal. ──
She corrected me ── and like made me feel horrible. ── And that instant I said, I don't need someone in my ecosystem to make me feel bad. Even if they were well intentioned, they could have well intentioned their ass not to post that. ── It is my trauma, it is my thing that happened, it is my memory of her. And honestly, just because somebody decided three years ago, five years ago, whatever it was that they wanted to change the verbiage, nobody feels this more than I do. ─
This is my situation. So I was like, I am not going to ─── let someone in my bubble make me feel like shit. ━ And if anything like that ever happens, like something doesn't feel good, I know I am empowered to say F off. I don't need that in my life. I need people that are going to support me and so do you. You deserve to be supported.
You deserve to have friends that love you and if they don't, love you for every fucking ── particle of your amazingness. They do not need to have space in your life. You deserve more. ──── And you can make that decision. I would rather have... Um, ─── a friend group that from a distance supports me than a best friend that's right next to me that doesn't. ──────
Because I want positive energy. I want momentum around me. I like part of my affirmations are I am magnetic to attract people who love and want to support me. I am magnetic to attract. Clients that absolutely love me ─── and that's it. ─ I am not available for anything other than that. ─ And you can be too. ──────── So go and look at your friends ── do a fricking inventory.
Like how does that person make you feel? ─── How are they dimming your light or making your light sparkle? ──── If they are. ─ Dimming your light more than they are making you sparkle, should you be re evaluating them. Because you deserve the best. ── Thank you so much for listening, flower fan, and you have an 📍 amazing flower filled week.
