The Floral Hustle

  📍 Hello, flower friends. This is Jen and you are listening to the Floral Hustle podcast on this week's mini sode. We are going to talk about something that so many florists, humans, the world in general, experience but never talk about. And that is frotty feelings. Imposter syndrome. And today we are going to talk about basically saying, fuck you, frotty feelings.

How can you overcome those feelings when they're creeping in? How can you move forward out of like this shadow of doubt, shadow of feeling like shit about, um, doing things, taking action, uh, getting noticed, really like just putting yourself out there. How can you move past that? What are strategies that you can do to help?

Get those frotty feelings to go fuck off. And, that's easier said than done, isn't it? But, it is something that if you don't figure out, it will paralyze you from moving forward. And I want better things for you. And I hope you do too. So, frotty feelings. I have had them show up in a million different ways over the years.

But mainly, those Friday feelings are alive and well when you're scrolling in Instagram. When you're seeing what other florists are doing, and you're like, Why am I not doing that? Why couldn't I think of something like that? I'm not as good as they are. I'm never going to attract that size budget. God, how do they do that?

How do they manage all the things? How do they look at her doing and going to the lake this weekend with her family. Look at her or him doing all these things, and why am I feeling like I'm drowning? So if that is you, like I see you. I completely see you because this is something that I I mean I, all the time, before I started thinking differently, And really changing my whole mindset around comparing myself to others.

Obviously, it still naturally just happens. Now it happens as like a floral educator. I'm like, look at this person who has a membership, and look at all their videos they're doing, and look at all this, and they're probably doing all this, and I'm hypothesizing. If you're hypothesizing other people's success, stop and start thinking about your own.

And so when I started to shift that I can, can only control myself, my business and my reaction to the things around me, I can't control somebody doing a 40, 000 install somewhere. And I wasn't considered, I can't control somebody being able to manage all the things and go to the beach with their family or do whatever.

Like those things are out of your control. So what do you have control of? You have control of your reaction to the situation. You have control of the energy you're expending into thinking about that, into dwelling on that, into giving validity to those feelings. I no longer am available for things that make me feel like shit.

So, if that is you, become, uh, unavailable. I am unavailable for things that make me feel like shit. I think there was an Instagram Reel that this, uh, yeah, and it was that exact thing. I am no longer available for things that make me feel bad. Things that make me feel inadequate. Things that make me feel like I am not amazing.

So, become unavailable. for those things. Another thing, and if this helps, do it. If someone makes you feel this way every time you open up Instagram, unfollow them. Unfollow people who do not make you feel good. If they are making you feel bad, you do not need to have space to engage with them anymore.

Leave that alone. So many successful, I mean, multi, multi million, millions of followers. Have you looked at their follower count? This minuscule, very small, because they are not available to invite that energy in, to invite feeling like shit, to invite feeling inadequate. They just don't participate in it.

So we need to choose not to participate in that. But then I also want you to really reflect, okay, I don't want to feel like this and I want to be a better version of myself. What are you doing to make that happen? I notice that if I am not accomplishing a goal or something that I've set out to do, it is more triggering for me to have fraughty feelings, to have feelings of inadequacy.

If I am not really available to put 100 percent effort behind that goal, and I am not reaching that goal, it just is making me feel like I'm not keeping the promises to myself. And when I don't keep promises to myself, I will, a lot sooner, feel like I'm inadequate. Because I'm not... I'm saying things and there's nothing in the bank to cash them to.

So I need to make sure that I have things in the bank to back up the statements that I make. So I am huge into affirmations and if I'm saying like, I will do this or I am, I, I want to feel like down in my soul that I am supporting that statement in every way possible. And if I am not. What am I going to do to change that?

Because I know for myself, when I am not keeping the promises to myself, I can feel like shit ten times faster when I open Instagram. When I see this fitness model doing all these things. When I see Jenna Kutcher running around and I absolutely heart her to death. But, like, when I see her running around doing all the things and nestling her children and looking like a million bucks and talking about how she sold 35, 000 on her first course launch and how she did all these things, like, I, if I'm not doing the work, if I didn't make it to CrossFit, if I didn't do all the things that I feel are moving me forward, that is not supporting me feeling.

Like I am all the things that I want and I am not a fraud. So are you keeping the promises to yourself? Are you putting in the work that it takes to get there? Because becoming the new version of you or becoming whatever version of you that you want to be, or if you want to just be the same version of yourself, that requires you doing some input.

It is not an autopilot system. We live in this social media ravaged society that is showing the highlight reel of every single human out there. And if we don't feel, because we're feeling all the non highlight reel moments, and we don't feel we're supporting our highlight reel moments, we are going to feel like a fraud faster.

So are you keeping the promises to yourself? Are you putting in the work to be the best version of yourself? Are you unfollowing things that don't serve you? Are you unavailable for those moments that, that like, you start to feel like shit, hit unfollow. Unfollow your ass. If it is a friend that brings toxic energy that makes you feel like a fraud, Mute.

Do not disturb. I am unavailable for things that make me feel like shit, and that is one of them. That could be a friend, that could be Instagram, that could be going and buying clothes that are too small with the hopes and dreams of getting in there, and then you look at that thing every day, and you're like, my ass is still not fitting in there, and it makes me not feel good.

Don't buy those things. Don't keep them. Keep things that make you feel good. Things that make you feel good in life should be surrounding you. Things. People. Behavior. All should be supporting you feeling good. You running your life with ease. You running your business with ease. And so if there's another florist every time that you go to the wholesaler.

That you're sort of friends with, but they say some, maybe, Oh, I saw your little installation that you did the other day. Oh, that was cute. And it makes you feel bad because you're like, There was nothing little about it. I busted my butt. You can smile and nod next time you see that person and walk the other direction.

You are in charge of how you feel. And I choose to feel good. I choose. To feel empowered. I choose to not be a victim. And if you are making choices otherwise, those fraughty feelings are going to come in so much faster with so much vengeance that it can be debilitating. Because you're just like, nothing is going right.

Look at all these people. There are a couple florists in my market that I look at their stuff. And I'm like, I, I used to the old version of me. I'm like, why am I not attracting that? Why? What is so special about them? Why? Why don't they see me? Why don't these people see me? Actually, this happened today. I had a consult, a wedding planner reached out and like, for some odd reason, I did one wedding and it.

Even weirder, the wedding that I did with them was very similar to this wedding. So I thought they naturally, like, I was coming up in the world and they were reaching out to me to get this, I mean, over 15k budgeted wedding. Um, and they were reaching out to me because they see me. And I talked with the client today and I did her goddaughter's wedding.

I had for a millisecond, like, Like, shit, I thought I was coming up, like, I can't believe, like, this. And so then, like, I started feeling fraughty feelings, and then the lady's talking about what pretentious bees these planters are, and like how she used the word uppity three times. And I'm like, those aren't my humans.

I don't need to feel like shit because these aren't my humans. These people are screwed because this is their planter. But they see the value in me and that's what I needed. I don't need this planner to approve of me and think that I'm up and coming finally in her book or their book. I needed this client to tell me she loved the flowers that I did at her goddaughter's wedding.

That's all that mattered. But for a second I let it creep in and let it consume my brain and then I told it to F off. Right in the middle I just was like, I, I did a change of behavior, I like just put my legs, my hands on my legs just to kind of snap me out of it, go, I am unavailable to feel like shit about this, because these people love me, they've reached out to me because they love my work, and because that, I felt semi validated for two minutes because this planner that's a big deal magically reached out to me, and then I find out that's not the case, that they, were told to reach out to me.

I didn't let that bother me. I let, I just snapped myself out of it and I was like, I don't need their validation. I needed this client to love me and want to spend their money with me, which was a good chunk of money. That's what's important, not this person thinking that I'm cool or, or finally validating me after all these years of not wanting to do business with me, even though I follow them.

I comment on their things. I do all the things to build a relationship with them, and it's not reciprocated. That reciprocal energy, that equal energy exchange that I talk about a lot, was not being received, so I felt like some was coming my way. And it wasn't. But I didn't let it bother me. I moved forward.

And you should too. Go unfollow a bunch of people if it's making you feel bad. Don't be friends or don't choose relationships that make you feel bad. You do not need that. You are better than that. And start doing the work in here, in your heart, and in your mind, that is going to make you be like, I am fucking awesome.

I am amazing. I have so much to offer people. That when those creepy feelings come in. You have the money in the bank to cash the checks that you write, to back up that behavior, to back up what you want to do, to back up your goals. I believe in you. Thank you so much for listening, flower friend, and have an 📍 amazing flower filled week.