The Floral Hustle

  📍 Hello, flower friends. This is Jen and you're listening to the floral hustle podcast on this week's Minnesota. We're going to talk about the fear of failure and how to overcome like one of the biggest mindset blocks that I personally have experienced and that many of my coaching clients, many of my florist friends that I talked to, this is kind of a common theme of, For one, not starting.

For two, not pushing yourself forward. And so I want to talk about some tips and strategies really to start to, for one, believe in yourself more, to instill some core, um, ingredients of success so that you feel like you are moving forward. Because when you become stagnant, I think a lot of people start to panic, they start to, fear ensues, especially when you are not booking weddings.

People feel like they are a failure. So one of the first things that I do is, I often have goals and clearly defined goals. When you do not have goals. are going to feel like a failure because you don't have any vision or direction of where you want to take your business. So clearly laying out goals to work towards that are, uh, for one, you want to make sure that they are, um, something that's somewhat realistic.

If you have stretch goals. I totally love that but I am someone who loves to have attainable goals that I exceed because it makes me feel like a winner. It makes me feel successful when I've hit that goal. I have, and actually my husband is like this, he is a total stretch goal. Like, you know, if I have a goal of hitting, um, you know, 250k for weddings this year, he's like, why wouldn't you do 350?

Because it doesn't feel good. So I set goals that feel in alignment with me. I set goals that feel attainable, doable, and I can put strategies in place to make them happen. When you do not have goals, you're going to fear, that fear of failure is just, can overcome you at any time because you don't know what you're actually working towards.

So you feel like you are failing because you don't have vision. Then. Another thing that I think often happens is we are getting failure projected on us because we are worried about disappointing loved ones, our partner, whoever it may be. I know I often, when I was growing up, always felt like I wasn't good enough for, um, especially my mother.

And... This is something that has been like a long, long going issue that I've been working through. I've done some EFT to work through it, but even when something really, really great happened, it's like she somehow turned it into like, Oh, you accomplished this even though you're not good at math, or Oh, you accomplished this, but what about this?

And we all have, you know, our, Our parent issues. I mean, that's the foundation of us is how we grew up, how we were taught to think about success, how we were taught to think about, um, you know, happiness, all these foundational things that we got from our parents are completely not in alignment with the majority of my generation, the younger generation, because the Generation of, uh, my parents and maybe your parents, they thought that a 9 to 5 job and going to college and getting a degree was the only way you were going to be successful.

So if you didn't follow that exact path, you were going to be a failure and that failure was projected on you. So one of the first things is that I face that that is something that I struggle with because of how I grew up. The definition of success was different than mine, but that definition is foundational.

So it is ingrained in you, in your subconscious, that if you're not doing this, there's this like animosity, this anxiousness, this um, you know, just complete, sometimes debilitating anxiety for some, that they are not good enough, because they did not match up to these standards. But what's funny is if I reflect on their definition of success with what my definition is, that fundamental misalignment in those two things is okay with me.

So when I, I, at this point in my life, I've processed all these things, and hopefully you have too, I now know that that definition That my mom had that my father had that definition of success is not in alignment with mine So I need to that fear of failure of letting them down Understand that that is okay That my my goals are not in alignment with theirs or don't line up with their definition of success And that doesn't mean that I am a failure But without doing that like mind Set work around that and really, truly accepting your definition of success as being your true north.

It's going to be a struggle. You're going to feel like a failure often because it's like hanging over your head. But the second part of that is learning how to manage that. I have, um, had people that I've worked with for coaching that like their parents aren't supportive of them doing their own business because Their definition of success is different and that is something that if my parents are gone so it is easier for me to move past that.

But if you have that constant drip and reminder, you need to affirm to yourself that that alignment is okay to be different. But then you need to make them aware that I'm sorry that our definition of success is different. I'm completely happy with me redefining that definition and it being different than yours.

I understand that that's disappointing to you and I hear you, but this is bringing me happiness and joy and letting me be the mother that I want to be, letting me be the human that I want to be, and I'm completely okay with that. What is a mother or a father? going to say to you or a partner when you're saying, I'm sorry, we're different.

I want to do these things because they make me happy. They make me more in alignment with the motherhood that I want. They make me just be alive. And if they can't respect that, then you just got to step back and be like, that person is just not going to support me. And that is okay. Then the third part of, Getting rid of this fear of failure is really working on your mindset around and I talk a lot about mindset because it is so critical to controlling your thoughts and controlling your actions.

So I, on a daily basis, make sure that I am speaking to myself in a way that is supportive. That I'm not talking to myself and letting leak out. All this negative energy and negative, um, thought patterns into my business. Negative, uh, I'm not good at this. I'm, I had somebody say, I'm not good at social media.

Well, you're not going to be if you talk like that. So if you're speaking into, I am not good at, um, business. I've had people tell me they are literally not good at numbers. They're not good at selling. They're not good at running a business. They're not good at like these foundational things that really matter in owning a business.

If you switch that narrative to, I'm working hard every day to be better at this, or I'm working hard to figure out solutions or like from a time perspective, I didn't have a lot of time to be dedicated to doing all these different things. So like I, I did the work to find the resources to support me in my goals.

And when I have that support, when I'm thinking. that I am working on this, that me not being good at this and me sucking at this and me just not doing all these things that I need to do to support my business. All of those things, just like those thought patterns start going away because I know that I'm an action taking, problem solving woman that is going to do the work to make my business successful.

And I'm going to speak to myself in a way to support that. On a daily basis, I do affirmations to myself. Uh, I am statements. I am powerful. I am magnetic. I deserve success. I deserve abundance. I deserve to attract couples that see my worth. All of those things are adding up to me just believing in myself and believing that I am not a failure.

Believing I am successful. Talking to myself that day. It really supports my success and also having that expectation of my loved ones, your family, your partner, whoever it is, who is making you feel like a failure. You control what content from them you're taking in and what you won't. And I know we often with our loved ones feel like you have no control in that relationship and that dynamic.

But I don't allow my anybody to talk to me in a way that isn't supportive. If that person is not going to be supportive, they are not going to be a fixture in my life for very long. That includes friendships, just business coach relationships, whatever it is. I have expectations of people who I interact with and those expectations support my, my goals.

So I hope this little chat about Some of the three, the three real big things that I do to make sure that I am squashing that fear of failure, living to my true purpose, living my life in a way that feels authentic and good and running my business in the same way so that I can overcome, because I know success is inevitable and failure is not an option.

And I hope you know that same thing because we are all capable of so. Much amazing greatness in our business. We just have to start pushing towards it. And I know it's going to be amazing. Thank you so much for listening flower friend. And I hope you have an amazing 📍 flower filled day.