The Floral Hustle

 Hello, flower friends. This is Jen. And you are listening to the floral hustle podcast on this week's mini episode. We're going to talk about a strategy to put in place to overcome imposter syndrome. And I also call it frotty feelings. How do you get like when that, that moment hits you and you're like.

People are going to think I'm a fraud. People are going to think that I don't belong here. People are going to think that I'm an idiot. People are going to think that I'm stupid. People are going to think that I don't know what I'm talking about. They're going to think that I'm a failure. Like I have been there, felt all the things.

I have tons of coaching clients that feel the same way because society has elevated to this social media driven ecosystem. Like it's really easy to open your phone and feel like shit fast because you're seeing all these other florists doing big things. You're, you're seeing this beautiful, eloquent moment in their life that just makes you go, damn, like, look what they're creating.

Look what she's doing. Look what that person looks like. Look at their life. And then all of these like, fraughty ass feelings. Come in and soak in and go, like, I feel defeated. I feel like I'm not winning. I feel like, I mean, just all of these things. So how can you stop when the frotty feelings or imposter syndrome starts to flood your thoughts, flood your emotions?

What can you do to say, get the hell out of here? And this is something that I long struggled with. I show up on video constantly. And this is something that like, I, I naturally am an extrovert, but putting myself out there that much, I've, I had all the questions, what if I, and it wasn't like people to me, it was like.

floral educators, other floral educators judging me. Like, that I felt like that I didn't belong and I, you know, they, look at what they're creating. Look at these courses that they have. Look at all these things that I don't have yet. Well, they also started where I am. But many of them didn't start with already being a florist for a quarter of a century.

I have so much value to offer and it took me creating a script in my head and breaking thought patterns. To stop those frotty feelings from flooding my life. So I often, when I start to feel overwhelmed or when something doesn't feel good, I clap my hands and I will say like, I don't do overwhelm if the situation is overwhelming.

I also will go and I will say, like, if all of a sudden I'm starting, I'm like on Instagram and I'm like, Ugh, like this is starting to just feel like anxious or, um, heavy or like I see somebody else and I'm like, they're crushing it. And I, I'm like, that day, maybe have like a messy bun and haven't put my lashes on and anything, like, I'm feeling like I'm not at my best.

And. I often will just go, I don't need to compare myself against anybody. And if I need to, like, I'll clap my hands. I do not need to compare myself. I am like amazing at so many things. And so then like those. Those, that script or what I call like my, I am affirmations are loaded into my brain to start reinforcing my true reality of where I should be at.

So I am magnetic. I am, um, you know, helpful. I am a good person. I am, um, helping people like I am providing value. And when I go through all that, like, then I start to say my brain starts to shift a little bit from like, Look at this person who makes me feel like shit to like, this person doesn't need to make me feel like shit because I'm good enough.

And a lot of this. Is not just because of social media. A lot of this is because of how we grew up, like our parents potentially. I know my mother made me feel like I was a failure. I wasn't good enough. I know a lot of my floral friends, like they're in that same boat, especially when people are not supportive of your dreams, it's really easy to feel like you've been brought down a couple notches and that you aren't good enough.

You are good enough, you are like so strong and you are so empowered to do anything that you want. But, when you have all these things telling you that you're not, like you need to figure out a way to stop and interrupt that. So that is not controlling your thoughts. I also, if I have a situation where like I am following somebody.

And I'm like, Oh, look at everything they're doing. Like, how am I going to do that? I'm so tired with everything I'm already doing or whatever. I will capture that thought of like something that they did. And maybe it gave me an idea of something similar with my spin on it. That might be even more helpful than this idea.

And so I capture that, but if that person is constantly making me not feel. Like, I am amazeballs. I'm probably just going to unfollow them. And by unfollowing people who trigger you or make you feel like, Oh my god, I am not good enough. Or like, look at what they're doing and I'm constantly having this jealousy.

And then I'm having like, You know, rejection, cause I just, so many things are just swarming around in your brain, unfollow them. So that is a strategy, unfollow them. Another strategy, interrupt your thought patterns. I will clap my hands because that visual and that audio, like completely like, interrupts my thinking and goes like, it's almost like a slap in the face to me.

Like, what in the hell are you thinking about? It's my, it's my cue for me. To like stop being a dumbass and thinking like this, because I don't need to feel this way. I deserve to feel good. I deserve, and having that dialogue and also really believing that you deserve better. That you are, you know, totally entitled for all of these things to be amazing in your life.

It doesn't need to be a shit show. You deserve amazingness. So next thing, if like, I've tried to interrupt my thought process, I have started, you know, Like just giving myself some validation. I do like I am affirmations I actually do this every night with my daughter as well And like if you say I am and she will like belt out.

I am kind. I am powerful. I am strong I am brave and that is forming her opinion of herself in the long term And as somebody in their 40s, like I need that that little boost To get me back up to where I should be. So I am practicing and training my brain that I am powerful. I am magnetic. I am smart. I am all these things.

So what, when you hear it, like, you know, it's true, but it doesn't feel like it. And like, sit with that. And if it's sitting there and you're like, it's not going away, like your subconscious believes that 90 percent of, of our. Thoughts are unconscious, they say 85 to 90. So if you are especially talking garbage about yourself by saying, I am not good at this.

I got, I suck at that. You need to start changing the way you talk to yourself. So I am affirmations are one way to change how you talk to yourself, but truly you need to do some inner work and start really believing that you are all the things that you're fearing you're not. Or you are capable of all of those things.

And once you convince yourself, that you are capable, it's, everything becomes so much easier. Because you're able to interrupt and go, that's not true. And it's funny cause I had um, coffee, or hot cocoa I had, uh, with a friend from 20 years ago. And, I mean, back then that was a long time ago. Like I have gone through like so many things since then.

My life has changed. My everything has changed. And you know, we were just randomly talking about like that. I'm really living in my purpose now. Like, and I feel like things are in a really good spot. Like I feel really good about my life and. And he was just like, why didn't you feel good about it before?

And I said a comment like, well, because like, I didn't never felt like I was good enough. I always felt like I was always a failure in my mother's eyes. And he goes like, how would that even remotely be a thought with everything that you've accomplished? And even back then what you accomplished. And that was me like selling cars, selling cars.

Like I was a very free spirit. I was. I'm still living in my, like, in my element, but I had all those fears and, and, and all these like feelings from growing up the way I did and having the, the mother that I did. And so many people have this, but it is so shocking when you tell someone else that has known you for 20 years.

Like, that statement going, I always felt like I wasn't good enough when I was growing up. He's like, how can that be true? And I bet if we let our deeper inner thoughts out to our closest friends, they also would probably say the same damn thing. Like, how is it possible? Look at everything you've done. And what's even more interesting is that's just from maybe your friends.

From the peanut gallery of people that are observing you, there are so many that are probably jealous of where you are at. And you are not even happy with where you are at right now. Like, I want growth. And I have people go, how do you do everything? Like, how do you do all this? Like, what does that look like?

And I'm like, it just happens? Like, it's normal to me. So I normalize. That my life is bigger. I normalize that I deserve big, bold, badass things in my life. And you deserve those same things. So stop talking to yourself in such a negative way. Start talking to yourself in a way that supports you. Unfollow people who are not serving you.

Like, you don't need it. And interrupt your thoughts when it's starting to happen. And start to really dig deep of where this is coming from, because me figuring out deep down where this has come from has helped me so much, because then I know, like, even in a situation, I can tell, like, how this is being triggered, and it, I can usually point it back to, to growing up, and then I go, I don't, this no longer serves me.

I am no longer available for this. Like, I'm no longer available to feel like this anymore. And I deserve better, and so do you. And when I've made those decisions, Like my business has just gone up and up and up and it's because I deserve it. And so do you. So start living the life that you deserve. Start thinking the way that supports you in the life that you deserve.

Thank you so much for listening flower friend and you have an amazing flower filled week.