The Floral CEO

  Hello Flower friends. I got a DM that I wanted to, they actually asked me if I would do an episode around this, and I felt it was important because I feel like this struggle is something that everybody experiences and it's. Really, the question was like, you know, I've done one wedding. I really have this big dream, and I want all these big things to happen, but I'm just, you know, you, you feel like you're spinning your wheels.

You feel like you're not making momentum. You like, frankly, you just feel like every fucking thing is hard. Have you guys ever felt that way? Everything feels hard. Getting up in the morning feels hard, and I'm, I've done episodes on pushing through and I've done strategies and I wanna talk about some of those strategies today.

But as, I mean, you guys know, I've completely changed my life again, and things are hard navigating the new kind of reality. Has felt tricky and then I think it's, it's beautiful at the same time, because today I, was out and I got my little baby mini donkey. Mabel. You guys have heard me talk about her, but I'm so, I'm so in love with her.

She's so cute. And I got her a little coat because it's cold here in Minnesota already, guys. It's grossly cold. And I was just out there and I was looking at her and how. I just, I was standing in the pasture going like, this is my life right now. And I also, this weekend I did this. Absolutely stunning.

And I, I, I'm. I do not speak lightly when I say stunning, and it was a very stressful wedding. This planner had me sideways, like I all these colors. She was putting together like a mauve, a dark purple with a fuchsia berry color, with, um, not wanting any greenery and like just all these things. And then on top of it.

The mom was a florist that actually had worked for me and had been florist for 30 years. And this planner is like an up and coming planner, like a big deal. And uh, like she had nitpicked all the details, like down to wanting two sets of, um. Like flat lay flowers and like she wanted nuts and I bought mixed nuts thinking like it's all these fun.

'cause she wanted like figs and she had sent me emails just about Bosque pairs you guys, like I got emails about, Hey, I really want Bosque pairs because I really love that brown color. I was like, I booked this bride before she had a planner because mom just was like, you have to book Jenny because I love Jenny.

And I'm like. She books this planner and this planner like just has me sideways. Like I am so worried. 'cause I don't really know her either, other than us having conversations about, like, she saw that I had bunnies or something like that, and she's like, oh my God, I've always wanted a bunny. So I was like.

Going into this situation, going like, how could I make this better? And I'm like, I'm just gonna be nice to her. And I actually, I found a little stuffed bunny and um, that was really cute and got a gift bag and gave it to her. And I said, I was excited to work with you, even though I was like terrified because she's like nitpicking every single thing.

Like literally she looked at the bag of nuts and said, I really only like the walnut color. There were seven different colors in there and she only liked the walnuts, you guys, I mean, it was like, do you wake up in the morning and like pick everything apart in the world? Like I mean it was just, but at the end when we have the fucking walnuts on the table and we have this pattern that like really wasn't showing up well on the internet and I have faith, roses, amnesia, roses.

Darcy, what is it? Uh, David Austin Roses and eggplant colored binocular, which of course got screwed up, and so I had to get them from another place and like just all these things. I stood back and I just, I looked at this and I was like, look at how fucking beautiful this is. Look at how stunning this is.

This bride got raked over the coals. Her venue that she had booked all of a sudden said that they were doing construction and then. Moved her to another venue and she just couldn't get over. She just didn't like the venue. And then, so then she was gonna postpone it to the following date a year later and they closed two weeks later.

So, like, this bride had been through the gamut, but she still got her perfect day. And actually, I had suggested this place 'cause I felt like it had the same vibe and. I didn't even look. And on Sunday, after I saw like the a CH withdrawal, 'cause I do a CH, if somebody doesn't wanna do Zelle or Venmo, I try to avoid credit cards to avoid credit card fees.

And I also try to avoid chargebacks. I'm just throwing that out there because somebody could at, at any time with a credit card say they don't wanna pay you and they could do a chargeback and then you gotta fight this battle. And I've only had it happen once. But if I can avoid it and avoid credit card fees, I'm gonna do that.

And so I saw the Aach H withdrawal and she tipped me like $900 and it was like an $8,200 wedding. And so then I just thought about like I, I got to stand there. And yes, like the planner was extra, but this bride's day was perfect and I helped make that happen. I got to. Give people opportunity to freelance For me, I got to you know, like I, I did another wedding that same day and I got to see a planner that I liked that was grateful that I actually helped her get that job, which I've totally talked about this in networking with planners, but that was a perfect example.

I had teed her up for that client and she booked that wedding. And so like she will think of me and she has, when she has clients looking for florist, but it just made me stand there and go like, even though I feel like I've been an army ranger climbing under barb wire in a training exercise in this, this season, look what I did.

It's beautiful and it's. I'm, I just, I'm grateful that I have worked hard in my business to be here and it is pretty great. I get to get my kids off the bus and I get to today, I got to go and pick my son up and go take 'em to the eye doctor and then go take him to get his hair cut and then come home and make supper.

And I got to go to CrossFit today, even though I kind of wish I didn't. After I walked in, I. I specifically do not look on any website and look at the workout of the day. But it was a hero workout and so the workout was 1,001, 0, 0, 0 step ups onto a wood box, you guys. But even though I was like, oh my God, this sucks.

And I was like, how could this feel better? Okay, I'm gonna find a partner and we're gonna do it together and. I am going to just, I'm going to try and I'm going to push hard and I'm gonna be grateful that I can move my body and I'm gonna be grateful that I have the opportunity to go to a noon class. And I'm gonna be grateful that I you know, like got to do a bunch of stuff around the house this morning and I got to feed the animals.

And like, I just so much of. When things are tough or when you know you have these moments of success, so much of it is being grateful and really seeing what you've accomplished. And that's really hard when you're in the shit, when you're like feeling like nothing is working. And that's why I think for one, surrounding yourself with people that can help you see that is so impactful because it's so hard to see six inches in front of you.

But when you have the group as a whole, you know like you're sharing. And that's why I always ask for like updates. I wanna hear updates. I wanna hear what people are working on. And. You can help someone see, like you're crushing it. Like I, I see somebody trying. And honestly, if you're trying, that to me is crushing it.

I have coached so many flos that are sitting here in the same exact spot because honestly like things were so hard they didn't try trying is winning. And I, I totally know that there's this whole myth of balance and, you know, of being you know, having a life of balance. And I actually, my word of the year this year, and it's interesting because we're coming up to the end of the year, um, my word of the year is alignment.

And I truly feel like this life I have now is more in alignment with the human that I'm supposed to be. And. It does feel hard though, and there is balance in places, but there isn't balance all the time. There are some seasons that require survival mode and digging in and making shit happen. And to me that's okay.

Everybody talks about like that. There needs to be this, this perfect balance. And honestly, people who do not, aren't moving their business forward because they aren't trying and they're doing so in the sake of balance. Like you can have micro momentum, but most don't even try. Most people who are sitting there.

Uh, frankly just disappointed and like going, ah, shucks, I wish things were different and like I have coached so many of them that they're here in front of me because ah, shucks is probably not starting to resonate with their husband anymore. Ah, shucks isn't resonating with your bank account anymore.

Ucks might be not resonating with your tax person anymore. And if you are going, God, I just wish my bi, I really want you to do an audit. If you are trying to make micro momentum, are you doing something in your business to move it forward? I'll c I'll be sitting down with somebody looking at their business and I'm like.

Have you posted on Instagram? Have you reached out to a planner? Have you stopped at a venue? Have you went to an open house? Have you went to a networking event? Have you got in front of someone and said, hi, my name is Jenny and. I own Green Goddess Floral. I specialize in wedding events. And I really love to do cultural weddings.

I love weddings with color. And, um, I, I have, um, two options. Like I have full service and then I also do a la carte. So if you're, you know, just needing a few things, I, you know, normally can accommodate that. Like, are you getting in front of somebody and showing up? And are you doing things, systems, habits or boundaries that help you actually move things forward?

And I've talked about Trello and taking a big project and breaking it down like if you wanted forever to have a la carte flowers, or have you wanted forever to figure out how to get on a preferred vendors list. Like it takes micro execution of a million different things to make a big thing happen.

This podcast, I, when I launched this podcast, I actually, I've told this story before, but I went down and I completely launched the podcast from scratch in 45 days. So I came back from a immersive business coaching day and I, you know, literally decided there that this was happening, that I was gonna stop being small, I was gonna stop not.

Helping people and sharing my voice because I was afraid of judgment. I was afraid of who am I to have opinions, who am I to do any of that? And I decided that like my contribution to the world is just, frankly, bigger than that because I've, I've helped so many people quit their day jobs. I've helped people, um.

Create a boundary with their spouse, even because I'm a certified life coach as well, and that they were just letting their husband dictate their happiness and they didn't see how amazing they were. I've. I've helped people book their first wedding on their own after being a florist for 30 years, working for somebody else, have know how to even post an Instagram reel.

There's been so many things and I know that my contribution matters and I, I hope you know that same thing is true for you. You could make somebody's wedding so beautiful. But it is required to show up. It is required when things are hard sometimes to push through. And there's this, um, podcaster, uh, his name is Rob Dial and he has a real kind of circulating right now and his big phrase and is like, I do it anyways.

If something's tough, I do it anyways. If something doesn't feel good, I do it anyways. And that has been kind of my. My motto in life, I have shown up and I have done it anyways. Does it feel uncomfortable? And sometimes, yeah, but I've pushed through and doing the hard things anyways. Are easier said than done sometimes because sometimes you just don't have the coping mechanism to push through.

Some people just shut down. I've actually seen it happen. I've seen someone just completely shut down and. You're just like, come on, get outta your shell. And this happened a lot in COVID 'cause people were scared and, and you know, they were scared of social interaction and they were just scared of the world.

And there were just all these things and, and. I just don't have time for that. I don't have time to be small anymore. I have time for bigger things. I have bigger revenue goals than I've ever had in the floral business in general, like I, it is not cheap living on a farm and I wanna contribute. I wanna make, be impactful, and I have to do things anyway to do that.

But I feel like sometimes when things are hard, it's really easy to start feeling shame, to start feeling guilt, to start feeling like I'm not good enough for any of this. To start feeling like you're a failure and you are not gonna make every shot. Michael Jordan didn't make every shot. People to this day, he is amazing.

So sometimes a little grace over guilt also needs to be the answer. When you're saying like, I can't, I sometimes I have to do this. Like, I actually, I've been going to CrossFit. I had been, um. Working really hard on the farm and I had back to back to back wedding weekends and my body like hurt so bad.

My, I've been in two car accidents and I have horrible posture. Um, I actually. For before we moved down here, I was going to posture therapy once a week to try to upright. Um, my mom had had the same thing, horrible posture. So my body felt like hell, like I literally was, it was hard to walk upstairs 'cause like my SI joint was hurting, my neck was hurting, I was having migraines, and so I just.

For the, for a week. I like went to CrossFit once that week and I usually go like three to four times and I just said, my body needs to rest. I'm gonna let everything else happen and everything is happening 'cause it has to, but I need to rest my body. And that might not be just resting your body. I, I need to rest my mind.

So maybe you're just like, you know what, this week I'm not gonna like. Talk to new humans because I don't have the capacity, but next week it's different. We can't have the same excuse every week. I'm exhausted, so I can't do social media. I am whatever, and so I can't do this. If you come into a thing that you know is critical for your business success, you need to go, okay, this feels hard.

My body doesn't feel good, my brain doesn't feel good, my whatever doesn't feel good. So right now I'm gonna give myself grace, but next week is going to be different because I do it anyways. Because what I'm building matters. Because if I keep showing up, I know that my business is going to be successful.

Do you really know that? I want you to, if you're driving or wherever you're listening to this. I want you to just really think, is my success inevitable? Do I know that I can make this happen because I know I am fucking unstoppable. I know that I am an amazing mother. I know that my endless list of responsibilities and to-dos will be here tomorrow, and I will, I will work on it.

I am not resting on my laurels. I am building momentum for a better future Every day. I know that I'm building big things, but do you really know that? Because sometimes you need to believe, like unapologetically believe that my success is inevitable that these things are going to happen. Because if you don't.

Really believe that when something gets in your way, it's so much easier to let it go because you really don't believe in your heart that it's gonna happen anyway. So why choose hard right now? Why choose hard when we know that you know, you've been working on this business and it's just not working yet?

Or why choose hard when? Everybody's telling you that you need to keep your day job to do the safe thing. Why choose hard when your, your husband is telling you that he doesn't think that this side business is going to work? What if you told that person, whoever it is, this is going to work. I'm going to do the work to make it happen, and I am going to dedicate like this.

I am going to be fucking unstoppable until this happens. What if you were that tenacious about your business? What if you created boundaries and other things that maybe are less consequential like somebody's asking you for a play date? Again, sorry, I'm doing stuff anyways. I have big dreams that I need to move forward.

They don't need to know that you can create boundaries. You need to choose. The hard that you know is going to drive you forward and stop choosing things that aren't supporting that, if that's what's truly important to you. If it's super important to you that you are making everybody else happy and everybody else's life easier, that is a different story than the one that I want you to tell yourself.

That my success is inevitable, and I am moving forward every day to support that. That's what I feel success is really like. I don't need to worry about pleasing a million other people. I need to be worried about driving what makes me happy forward. That's living in alignment and it's not about. Making sure your mother-in-law is happy.

I don't really like my mother-in-law. I don't really care if she's happy. She was horrible to her son. I just don't have time for her, so I don't have time if she's gonna call me and like I don't need to create space for her because that space is filled with something else. Unless she drastically apologized to him for the horribleness of his childhood, it's probably not changing anytime soon.

If she wants to show up in her kid's life, like, don't make time for people who don't see you or aren't important. Like I see so many people that are like, oh my, you know, my mom, I gotta do all this stuff for her and all these things. Do you, the school has the, I'm doing all these things. Do you need to do these things that are getting in the way and taking up your time and taking up your space?

Or are you running around people pleasing at your own expense? You are the most important person in your life, and I know that's weird to say, but you are in your head 24 7, not your husband, not your children, your thoughts and whatever, and your happiness if you're sunk. If you're feeling like shit, it's gonna soak into everything.

And I have been there, I have been I struggled because so many horrible things happened to me when I was younger. I mean, uh, I, and I've talked about different face of it, but I, I watch my dad be violent. To my mother. We were in displaced housing for abused families when I was little like my mom shot at my dad with a gun, like to get him outta the house when he was trying to hurt her.

I, my mom was an alcoholic. My dad was an alcoholic. I was the second family that my dad had. He had six other children. My mom had one, so I'm like, out of nine kids, you guys, and I'm the second to the youngest. I had a sister that, you can say it however you want, but she committed suicide. That's what we said.

When I was, the week I graduated high school I had men treat me like I had no value other than being a sexual object. I mean, like, there's such a long list that, and I. I like felt that, and I was sad and I, but like I, I choose not to live in my trauma and so many people choose to live in their trauma.

That is just not something that I felt like ever served me because it would just get me in a cycle. Yeah, it's okay. Let's be sad, let's make excuses for not doing everything because we're sad and. I get things are hard. I mean, I have, I have hard every day. I mean, I talk to my daughter's school again. She came home and she has sores that she's like picked at on her hands and like I'm talking to her school about regulating her stress and making her choose less hard at school and having to fight for her like it.

I have hard every day, but that doesn't make me settle in sadness. That doesn't make me settle, that that's my reality. It's my reality that I need to educate the school how to better be a support system for my daughter. It, that is my job. It isn't my job to feel like a victim that, you know, the schools have no fucking clue what they're doing with kids with autism.

Um, my, we have an autism parenting coach and he sent me a book. He's like, Hey, I think you should buy this book for this school. I'm like, I just know that this, we're navigating it and you know, they, they. I've had 11 years of my daughter, they've had two months. I'm gonna give them grace and just help them and show them that this is how she's best supported.

But I'm not gonna wallow in it that the sky is falling, that everything is falling apart, that life is horrible. This is pretty awesome. My daughter got to come home and cuddle with a bunch of cats that she absolutely loves in a really cool bedroom with this loft bed. There is so much goodness and if you reflect on gratitude and, and what's so funny is, uh, we at dinner tonight, my, my son said, I'm so grateful for living on the farm just randomly.

And that gratitude, I think, really gives you reflection of what is going on and. Even in the busy, like I am putting together, um, and I, I think I've mentioned this, but I am the programs director for wpa, which is part of my initiative to really get myself out there and network and be in front of planners and be seen by planners so that I can build my business.

Plus I'm supporting the wedding industry in education, which is also important to me. And it's been a crazy like putting this, it is we're putting a sit down dinner that everybody is getting delivered these like beautiful envelopes with only these like, like go and this is your table. And then, you know, the menu card is, has networking questions so people like turn to their right and ask the person this.

And like just all of these details. So many details, and it's just interesting because like even with all that busyness, like I still got my kids to, their activities. I still got to snuggle petia, my mini cow. I still got to go to CrossFit. So like nothing ever, even if it is hard, it's never too hard for me because I choose.

I'm making choices. I am making choices of not having things that don't feel good, putting boundaries in place. Still working on that micro momentum. I'm serious you guys. Micro momentum. It is one of the biggest things that that has made me successful. Is having systems habits that move me forward without burning out because I work at them in little bite-sized pieces to get stuff done.

And if you're tackling a mountain. Every time that you need to do something like that's never gonna feel good. But today, like today was a great example, a thousand steps. Okay, I'm gonna partner with somebody. So there's 500 steps. We're gonna alternate into a hundred or 10 steps each. So you do 10 steps.

I do 10 steps. Like that is so much more digestible than doing a hundred. Then doing 500 back to back, and I watched all these people like literally just start climbing. They're just climbing up on their box, climbing up on their box, climbing up their box, and then everybody's like dying. There's no strategy.

They're just going hard and long. Micro momentum. Do 10, 10 steps at a time, 20 steps at a time. Pause, regroup. Going back at it, 10 20, whatever it is, that's how progress is made. I hope that you got some tidbit out of this episode, and I know I talked about a lot of random things, but I think at this time of the year, everything kind of feels hard for people.

End of wedding season going into the holidays, kids are still adjusting from back to school. You're worried about next year if I see any more catastrophizing about what next year is going to look like you guys from another floral educator? I am like just going to fucking shut off my Instagram for a while.

'cause I see people out there crushing it. I see florists out there doing big things. You need to figure out how you're going to get up to bat. You need to figure out how you can get in front of the right person, and that might mean your micro momentum is sending to planners a email to introduce yourself, sending 'em your portfolio, sending a venue.

Your a la carte flowers list that does a lot of like lower end weddings, and maybe they have a bunch of people that just need bouquets because maybe they have some centerpieces or something that just don't look great. Like how could you move your business forward and ask yourself that question? Is what I'm doing moving my business forward?

'cause if you really believe that your business is, the success is inevitable, your success is inevitable. You need to make sure that those efforts are supporting that. I hope that you have an amazing, like I, I mean, we're getting almost to Thanksgiving, amazing holidays. I hope that you give yourself the space to mentally recharge and don't wait till January 1st.

That is never I never say I'm gonna have New Year's resolutions on January 1st. That just like isn't in my head to be feasible. I'm like, if I wanna do something, I'm gonna figure out how to do it now. 'cause that's how big things happen. There's no perfect season, there's no perfect day to grow a beautiful business.

It literally can just start now. You can create your perfect day, your perfect business, your perfect motherhood, your perfect life, your perfect whatever. It's all in your hands. Thank you so much for listening, flower friends, and you have an amazing flower filled day.

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