The Floral Hustle

 

Hello flower friends, this is Jen and you are listening to the Floral Hustle Podcast. On this week's mini sode, we're going to talk about anxiety. It is something that I have seen so many people, especially recently, so affected by this overwhelming feeling of anxiety. Um, they, um, You know, I, I was talking with one person, like literally their, their response to anxiety is, they shut down.

And so I, I want to talk a little bit about anxiety in general. I definitely am probably not the norm when it comes to anxiety, because I feel that anxiety is largely a choice. You are choosing to How you feel about something, how you react to something, and something that is kind of my inner mantra is that I can only control how I act and how I react.

And so if you are living in constant reactivity to other people's problems, to other people's judgment, to other people's frankly, the other people's bullshit, then you are going to feel anxious because you're constantly waiting for the ball to drop And I do think that this often stems from childhood My mother was a very anxious person in general and uh Like just fretting, you know, those people they just are worriers and Living in worry living in fretting is not something that is good for your body.

It spikes your cortisol levels. If you are constantly like worried about everything around you, you are de prioritizing yourself often. You are de prioritizing your health. If your cortisol is completely spiked all the time, you are likely having If you have tried to lose weight or you've tried to just be a healthier version, you've probably struggled with that.

And, that's not a fun place to live. And then when you hear someone like me saying like, anxiety is a choice, you're probably like, are you crazy? Because this is for real, for you. And it was for me too. I used to be, This person who was fired up was always like, I can't believe this and I can't believe that.

And I just, oh, I'm so frustrated with all these people and I'm so like mad and angry and reactive. And like there was a pivotal moment, like after I had my daughter, um, cause I used to be like, you know, I, I was. I was light in the world on fire. I was having, you know, I was the director of sales. I had all these people that reported to me.

I was always trying to prove myself in a very male dominated industry that I was relevant, that I mattered, that people should pay attention to me, that, you know, I need to be validated by all these external sources because I wasn't validated enough in myself. And. That stemmed from a lot of, you know, I never felt good enough because that's how I kind of grew up and that's taken a lot of work.

But after I had my daughter Bella, like everything changed. How I felt changed, how I, you know, like, Everything was so inconsequential because I'm in charge of taking care of this little human and all your other bullshit, like, is not serving me anymore. Me being, I was tired, stressed out. Her dad isn't not the greatest.

Um, he doesn't see her now because he's just not equipped and wasn't like just he was even a lot of anxiety, a lot of worry, like just, it was crazy. And so I just was like, there are so many bigger things than giving attention to worrying about all these other things. There is so much more than worrying about everybody else.

I need to worry about making myself happy. And so I say anxiety is a choice. Because I choose how to react to the world around me. I choose what to concentrate on. I choose to live my life in the driver's seat and not in reactivity to everybody else driving around me. That doesn't mean that I care less.

That doesn't mean that anybody is less important to me. That doesn't mean that I'm checked out. That just means that I am working on being the best mother, the best business owner, the best human, the best wife, the best friend, whatever it is. Like that is a bigger priority than worrying about how somebody else, what they're doing.

Or that something is going to happen. Or that, whatever. Um, and even though, and I, I, I preface this because I think that when somebody says like big statements that don't feel attainable to you, you're like, that person is just different. And I've, I've had like people that are, especially people that I'm, I've been coached, um, that I've coached or that I'm coaching, they're living this rollercoaster of things, the bad things that are happening to them.

And I can say with utter certainty, I have had horrible things happen to me in my life. I have lost both my parents by the age of, um, 34. I lost my grandparents at a really early age. I've lost three of my siblings, one of whom I was very, very close to. And, um, she, um, committed suicide the week I graduated high school.

I, I found my mother when she passed away. So, I have a daughter with autism. I, I mean, like there's just so many things. In lieu of that, I choose, even if my daughter is having, like she's been really emotional the last several days because she, she um, was really close to the teacher and her contract did not get renewed so now she's not going to see her in the halls and it's affecting her.

Um, even though that's next, you know, next school year. Uh, the para that had been with her since kindergarten. So, I mean, just think of that relationship. The person who had been with her, probably the most, since kindergarten retired this year. And she's just been emotional and she's been, but you know what, like, I just let her sit on my lap and cry.

And I tell her I love her and that this is all figureoutable. And that, like, we're in control of our feelings, we're in control of how we react to other people's behavior, and that's it. We can't control that, that Ms. Sigla retired. We can't control that they didn't renew her contract. But we can control that we, how we feel about it, how we react to the situation.

And we're in control of telling somebody that we love them. And that we're going to miss them. And to do something kind for them. So. How could you, if you were suffering from anxiety, for one, I would love for you to check in and say, where is this coming from? Does this come from a place of not feeling good enough?

Maybe being afraid that you're going to fail? Maybe afraid of judgment? What are people going to think? Who does she think she is? Who am I to do things like that? You know who I am? I am a badass that is going to do big things in her life and, and that is just as applicable to you because you are in control of your own life.

Bad things can happen. Bad things have happened, and I do not let them affect me. I have thrived with everything that has happened in my life. And this is like a vulnerable episode, and it's a mini episode, so I'm sorry, but it is something that is totally figureoutable. Every time something feels hard, I'm like, this is figureoutable.

Actually, I had somebody repeat that to me. Like, just like you say, Jen, everything is figureoutable, and this is figureoutable. Even when I have a huge wedding, I, next week, have Five weddings. One of them is in a la carte. I have one very big, huge wedding. I have, uh, another like small American wedding. I have two good sized cultural weddings.

And it's like almost 35, 000. And like, I am one calm person. Like, everything is going to work out. I am a master of my craft. I am a master of orchestrating chaos. And it's going to be amazing. And if you started to think, and even with that, like I, um, I've had somebody in my studio that is just like, I can tell they're totally, I'm like, what's going on?

I can feel the anxiety from coming from you. And she's like, she said something about like, she just doesn't feel like she was serving me in, or like doing a good job or something. Cause there was a timing, whatever. Um, miscommunication and I just, I, I had her look at, I was like, can you look at me? And I was like, I am, I think you're amazing.

I think you're doing a great job and there's nothing to be anxious about because I'm in no way, shape or form disappointed. I am happy that you are here. And I'm like, geez, I can feel this. And I was like. I can always tell, like, if, if there's like some deep rooted, like you're just worried about disappointing people.

And, and I just read into that because I've been there, like I've felt like a disappointment. I've felt like, you know, I'm not good enough. I felt like all those things. And if you feel those things, like I see you, that is totally real. And I, I hope, That you can get to a place, because I know you can get to a place, I am in that place, that is free from that.

You can be free from anxiety. Fretting does nothing. Action does everything. Lack of action causes more anxiety. Lack of action causes more worrying. Lack of action causes more internal disappointment. And you deserve to be the fucking star of your life. I am the star of my life. I have the most amazing, beautiful children.

I have a husband that is so supportive, but it has not always been like this. I had a daughter that didn't even, was barely talking when she was over four. I had, I was married before to a total loaf. That would like watch me work hard and do nothing. I, everything has changed because I've made a choice.

I'm the healthiest I've ever been in my life. And I did that. And I even said today to that girl, she's like, I just feel like we have so much going on with the weddings this week. And I said, we have so much going on that I prioritize going to CrossFit today and yesterday. And before I got here, my back was hurting and I went and got a massage at the mall.

And stopped at Old Navy and got some, um, clothes for my kids because you guys, if you follow me on Instagram and have seen my son, he's a crazy force of nature. And I thought he was in 5Ts, but he's very much not because I didn't get drawstring. And so he starts running, and then he's, his shorts are around his ankles, and then he does this butt dance that he thinks he's hilarious.

So I'm like, I have to go get drawstring shorts, because otherwise his butt's hanging out. But even with that, like, I wasn't fretting about it. I knew I would get to the mall and figure out getting some shorts. Everything is figureoutable. So next time that anxiety creeps in, I want you to just pause. And say, everything is figureoutable.

I can choose how I feel. I can choose how I react. I can't control other people's behaviors. Because we can't. I can't control anybody else's behavior but myself. And once you truly realize that, you can come to a place that is so much more zen. It's just it's such a shift and you deserve that shift I love my life And you can love yours, too Thank you so much for listening flower friends and if you need additional support like I would love if somebody was vulnerable in the facebook group and said i'm struggling with something and I could help support you I am doing business breakthrough coaching sessions.

You can go to Instagram and access the application for that. And in that, like, literally I am interviewing and coaching you through whatever you're going through in your business. And if you're struggling with frotty feelings, if you're struggling with anxiety, I would, I would love to have you on the podcast because so many people do and not enough people are vulnerable about it and make it okay.

So, Go and check it out. It's in my instagram bio And the facebook group is amazing. We now have 1700 people in there So if you would like to be part of a like minded flower friends Who really are just wanting to make their self better better business owners better humans Please go join the free facebook group.

Thank you again flower friend and have amazing flower filled week